Quotes to live by…

Actually just quotes I thought were funi, or really out there, or both.
Most quotes are rather NSFW, by clicking the button to reveal them you agree to acknowledge that you’ve been warned.

Reveal Quotes

• Comments from leaked GTA V source code
  • “I won’t even begin to claim that I know what the fuck is going on here”
  • “Just fucking kill me” - “This has got to be some of the shittest [sic] code in the entire game”
• Cursed Wikipedia
  • “The game received generally negative reviews, with critics disputing the game’s portrayal of Hitler as having two testicles”
• Jolly Wangcore (formerly A Jolly Wanker)
  • “I’m not gonna kill you if you get off to it sexually”
  • “Nothing lifts your spirits like horribly disrespecting the dead”
  • “Should I draw a winky on Jesus?”
  • “Yes, brands do not like it when your name is ‘wanker’”
• MattKC
  • “Don’t knife my vagina, I’m trying to kill Jesus”
  • “HE found himself fucking pregnant? I’m the fucking woman and HE found himself pregnant?”
• Octavius King
  • “I have never seen something that looks equal parts like a swastika and a sphincter”
  • “Well, now I am stoked to play, I hope I get to beat the utter crap out of children”
  • “What cute balls! Bet it’s been a while since a woman said that to you, eh?”
  • “I’m sorry, I hate that I’m sat here ranting about a Clefairy’s vagina, this is what I’ve been driven to”
  • “Look I’ve already said I don’t want to fuck a Pokemon like twice in this review”
  • “I’m pika- pikachu/My tits are coming at you”
• Rerez
  • “But now, back to Kirby’s nuts!”
  • “That’s all this game is, flying a penetrated Luigi trough space while shooting koopas and cheep cheeps with his nose laser”
  • Adam: “Now, I know what you’re all thinking. Can you eat the pump jack?” Shane: “Yes. By all that’s holy and good in the world. You can actually eat the pieces of a freshly destroyed pump jack.”
• Richter Overtime
  • “Jerking off and the dog came in, I’m like ‘damn bitch you just killed the vibe’”
  • “Is it kinda stupid to dig trough Valve’s 20 year old trashcan and start eating their garbage?”
• TotallyPointlessTV
  • “Trying to kill enemies with a crane and a fridge while the magnet is swinging around like a wild horse cock is not enjoyable”
  • “And for the low low price of one and a half grand you too can tickle the balls of Poseidon”
  • “These guys become a complete pain, literally spawning at your feet and blowing your squad apart like a teleporting hooker”
  • “What a fucking nerd, am I right? Anyway, back to my hour long video essay on a 15 year old game.”
  • “Imagine that, sitting cheek to cheek, shitting with your bro, does life get any better”
  • “Someone once said to an architect ‘please, sir, make my day to day life absolute fucking hell’”
  • “I don’t really know what I was expecting, maybe Doge himself to be like toiling down here creating a new coin with Elon Musk violating it”
  • “Oh no, he’s high on cat piss”
  • “Ah, a fine dining establishment, I’ll have a ballsack frappuccino”
  • “Just when you think you’re safe, someone sneaks up the vent and shoots you with four barrels up the asshole”
  • “You can parkour between buildings, it’s like the Mirror’s Edge of shit cleaning”
  • “We try to call the elevator when we’re ambushed by the sexiest- I mean scariest enemy in the game”
  • “The crack in the ground starts blowing daisies, so we dash trough the ruins dodging women like a monk in a strip club”
  • “Let’s just hope he doesn’t go back to his wife, monogamy would be a real bummer right now”
  • “Listen here, you little bitch, I don’t want to hear anyone complaining I’m looking into this too deep, you’ve clicked on a multi-hour analysis of a horror game, the fuck you expecting, bro, leave me alone”
• Xanderhal
  • “Dude, you know Hitler was getting that hitlerussy fucked non-stop, right?”
  • “Like, if I found out there were intelligent reptile people and they were, like, disguising themselves as humans for some reasons, I’d be like ‘yo I want to fuck some reptile bitches, lessgo bro’”
  • “Taylor Loren has [LibsOfTikTok] by the lady balls, she just got her by the lady balls”
• Others
  • “Morale was low, I had hit rock bottom, was Premier Pro not a game engine after all?” - Code Bullet
  • “I can excuse torturing children, but burning them alive is a step too far.” - Davey Gunface
  • “Drinking from the skulls, well, that is one thing. But those he had used to relieve himself… He would then just use them to drink from too. That was too much for me. That’s just not sanitary” - Francis York Morgan, from Deadly Premonition
  • “You click on ONE vegan Flat Earth neo-Nazi rapper […] and now my recommendations are full of the really WEIRD people.” - hbomberguy
  • “Nothing says Skyrim like a communist pony shooting out ice missiles” - Joov
  • “I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow and… Yeah, my dad wouldn’t have cared, he didn’t give a shit” - Keith Richards
  • “These are random people on the internet that are talking about Waluigi’s feet, that isn’t evidence” - kylie boggly
  • “This is just open tax fraud, at least do it quietly like I and every other youtuber does” - Vaush
  • “Anyway, after kicking around the baby on the floor, I decided to progress” - Wicked Wizard